ATITHI DEVO BHAVAH

This is the new punch line that we hear quite a bit in the latest ads by Indian tourism department. What we don't hear is the complete sloka. And this is the real reason why we still have not grasped the true picture. Let me first put the complete sloka here and then I will sort of try to link this post with the last one written yesterday

MAATRU DEVO BHAVAH! PITRU DEVO BHAVAH!
AACHAARYA DEVO BHAVAH! ATITHI DEVO BHAVAH!

The translation is very simple (even I can do it!!). It means mother, father, teacher and guest are god or god like and we should worship them. What we listen regularly is just the last bit. The problem is that we are all loosing the first 3 bits and then expect that we would follow the last bit ... that's not how it works. I would like to point to the fact that the flow starts with mother, then goes to father, then to the teacher and lastly to guest. I might be reading too much into this but this is also how I think it is supposed to be. If you don't respect your mother, you cant respect your father, if you cant respect your father you cant respect your teacher (after all father and mother are your first teachers) and finally if you respect all three you might respect your guest!! This is again my understanding of things and not the literal translation of the sloka.

Basically what I am trying to say is that if we have to achieve the goal of being a hospitable country we have to get in touch with our roots. The same roots we are moving away from. The same roots we thing are not worth aspiring for. The same roots that start by respecting our elders especially in our home. Its our tradition that we need to follow. Unfortunately in the blind race of being modern we have sort of lost complete touch with that. We in the past have been the country which have always kept our tradition albeit modifying it with the new good things we get from other cultures. But over the last few years we have started completely westernising rather than modernising. This definitely does not bode well for us as a country. We might progress but we will never be truly happy. You just need to have a look at the western countries and see that they have more problems in life than we do even after having far more resource.

To just summarize I think that the initiative of tourism industry is great but we need to take it to the next level and preserve what little we have been left with!!

Ek doha har roj

I have this mission for the next few days that I will try and memorize one doha per day. I read one today which I liked a lot and it applied too aptly on me. The doha was:

Deh dhare ka dand hai, sab kaho ko hoye

Gyani bhugte gyan se, murakh bhugate roy

Now I don't know the real meaning of this is but from what I can gather and translate there are multiple meanings to this and I will try to give my understanding of this which might not be correct.

(This is part of a bigger poem and I could find out complete poem and post it but I did not. I read the complete poem and its also good so those who want to can do a google and you will find it.)

So here it goes: To me this firstly describes that no matter who you are whether you are very wise or as dumb as a dodo you will have to suffer in the world in one way or form. (Another apt poem to look up here is "Ek EK baar sabhi sang biti" I did not find the complete poem but if some one does please post). The wise suffer as they try to see meaning in all the actions around, they try to dissect every thing no matter how small and hence are always anxious and the fools always cry about what happens to them. So no matter what you will always suffer in the world. Another way to look at it is that no matter what even if you are extremely intelligent or dumb you will ultimately be treated equal when death comes to you. Its like saying in the long run every one is dead so why be materialistic. Lead a simple life. This meaning comes out more clearly from the entire poem in which Kabir says that why I should be afraid of anything because death, old age and peril comes to all and not just me. Also too me its like a warning for people like me not to think too much about anything as over analysis leads to anxiety.

Now as to why this was apt was because I went to Manhattan today and generally around saw a lot of Indians but just didn't like how they were behaving and what they were wearing. Without going into too much details let me say that what I felt was they were trying to mingle too much with the people in NY. Its nothing new for me as I have seen this time and time again and this is not necessarily wrong but what I felt was that we as a nation and a group of people are loosing touch with our traditions, our clothing, our culture of being humble and respectful of elders and this lead to a sort of chain reaction of thoughts. I sort of started thinking that am I right in questioning these people correctly because to a large extent I also behave in a very similar way. i wear a shirt and a trouser, speak english, eat all kinds of food so am I not guilty of the same thing. Yes I am and this is even more sickening to me. In a bid to gain ground in career I have lost things which are and will always remain very dear to me. I regret this very very much. I dont have an answer to what I can do about this but I will keep the question hanging in my mind. Just in case one day a sudden thought comes to my mind which might be able to solve this question. But one thing is for sure - whether I will be able to get an answer or not this question has definitely ruined my evening. That is why one should not think too much :(

Environment and India(ns)

I have been thinking about writing this for about a month now and just did not have enough enthusiasm to write but I could feel the urge slowly increasing and now the time has come to set my laziness aside and write it. I might offend a few (if people actually read this!!, which I truly doubt) with my thoughts here and examples but so be it.

Few days back I was with one of my very close friend and was discussing why I don’t take cab back home from work if I am late. Its free (for me at least) then why not was his argument. My reason was unless it was very late 11.15 or later it takes me same time to reach home from a cab or via the tube and in using the tube I save some carbon emissions. So why not do it. His response was who the $#$$ cares about carbon emissions. I was taken aback! I have great respect for this guy but this is somewhere I think he is wrong and his offhand manner was a bit of a shock for me. Having said that, I have heard some comments like these from a lot of people, whom I come in contact with on a day to day basis. I have had a lot of discussions with people who don’t turn off their comps on the weekend and I have asked them a number of times to do the same but no changes.

What bothers me is not that they have least regard for the environment but that these are the guys who are amongst the most educated in the world and if they take such a stand what can we expect from the others. What is more regretful is the fact that most of them have roots in India. They must know how we used to worship the environment. The five elements from which the human body is made and to which it returns at the end of the journey - Each being an integral part of the environment. I know all this in today’s world seems a load of crap and you don’t have to believe in this. My guess is that the whole concept of worship of the elements, the sun, the water, the air etc was because we thought them as important and sacred. I think that there is no reason to believe that it does not hold true even today. If anything I think they have become even more important. We Indians were at the forefront of preserving the nature and we are the people who don’t care about it anymore! What has happened to us?

The answer should not come to you as a shock - I think that we were so blinded by globalization (westernization?) that we forgot our own culture. We did not think about the fact that we should only be taking the good things from the new culture we were trying to adapt to. We had mastered this art in the past. We were good at integrating with a new culture, keeping the good things and improving our culture but this time we failed and failed miserably. The price we are paying for this is huge and we need to get back to our old ways. Even if you don’t believe in Sun being a god and Air being worshipped no body can argue to the fact that they are important. Its still time for us as Indians to lead the world to a better tomorrow before it is too late and our children drown in the very water that has been the source of our progression through ages or die of the gases that we have produced so that we can have a more comfortable life. Aren’t we the country where parents do anything for their children?

It is time we paid more attention to the environment and may be to our culture

Good Bye

It is time to say good bye to the place which has been home for last 2 years. I will be leaving IIM Bangalore tomorrow with a heavy heart. What a turn around? I hated this place in till the end of first year but few weeks into my second year post my summer internship I was in love with this place. This place has given me all...fame, riches (definitely in the future),knowledge, confidence and above all it has given me few gems as my friends and for this reason alone I would never forget this place. This is my second time in a hostel environment and I must say I have not enjoyed any part of it more than my second year stay at IIMB. You enjoy becoz of your company and H-Mezz rocked. It was a great experience... all the batchmates were amazing... all the night outs we put together mugging, doing projects .. some just dicussing... all the time we spent dicussing on trivial(do mosquitos have eyes?? :P) and not so trivial things (how to improve the placement process). The juniors at H-Mezz were also amazing. It was great fun to intereact with you guys. Apart from it the juniors, seniors and batchmates with whom I interacted frequently were all great fun. Finally it would be amiss not to mention A^2 and Swati who made my life here much easier. The nights we spent together playing 29 or generally chatting was great fun and I would miss that too. I would miss the fact that they were always there when I needed them the most. So were Pabbo, Sahil and Patil. I could not imagine IIM Banalore without you guys. It was just great knowing you guys and I wish that all of us will one day assemble back at one place and have a great time together.

One another key reason why I liked IIM B was the fact that I was given respect here. I was an important pesonality who was looked up to be it acads or be it sports field. People always gave me respect. I was the one to whom they approached to clarify their acad doubts and it made me feel good about myself. I would also remember this place for the 5 days I was part of the placement process during our senior's final. It was one of the most gratifying feeling to be part of the process. Vikasana another entity that would remain with me forver. My first full time experience with social activity. It was great fun and great learning experience.

It was a great journey and I will miss not being here. To my juniors..please make full use of this fantastic opportunity and enjoy while you are here!!

I want to improve

There are certain days when you can’t look over the obvious deficiencies you have in life. And these deficiencies are something which I have already known but have never worked on it because I have never felt that it could hurt somebody. But then as you mature you realize you need to change. So from today onwards I would like to change my self. I think I don’t have enough will power to change so putting it in black and white always helps. There are certain expect that I would like to change about myself and these are:

1) I have always been a person who has sought attention and enjoyed it. I would like to change this as I don’t think this is a healthy sign. It leads to unnecessary tension when you don’t get it and then you think of the possible reasons. So from today onwards I would like to have a low profile. I would and should try to make my presence in any group as low as possible
2) Secondly in any relationship I think I expect a little too much and I think I don’t give as much to the relationship as I should. I think keeping expectations low is a way of healthy relationships. After all an individuals interest is more important than anybody to him/her and to expect anything else is not fair. Although this is not an easy job to do but I would try to implement this.
3) I think I need to organize myself better and from today onwards I would try to maximize the utilization of my time. This is something that I did in the first term here at IIM B but then some how I lost this capability. I need to be more focused and damn it I would be.
4) I judge people very quickly and also base my judgment on other people’s judgment. Although I am open and change my judgment later but I should not draw conclusions this fast.

I seriously hope that today is the dawn of something new which makes me a better person. I think enough effort would go into making me a better person. I hope I have enough will to do it!!

Vicious circle

I have been a reasonably successful guy who has achieved certain things in life a lot of people would like to or aim to achieve. This is not to make a point that I have done well or not but to put things into perspective that the discussion that is going to follow is not out of frustration. It is further to stress the point that if a person who has had a normal life can have such fears and anxieties a person not so successful or a person who had an abnormal life would definitely have much more to fear about.

There are days when I find myself just thinking about am I good enough. Am I the person every body apart from me thinks I am? There are people in my family who look up to me for inspiration and there are others who think me as their role model but frankly speaking I have my doubts. What is there in me that inspire them to believe in me so much when even I am not sure of my capabilities? What if I go wrong some where? Would these people continue to have faith in me or would most of them just walk away and speak of a person who promised a lot but failed to deliver. I am scared and feel vulnerable when such thoughts take over my mind and then there are days when I can’t think of much apart from these things. I feel lost: like a small baby who is lost in the vast world and has no where to go. My mind stops working and all the thinking is done by the heart.

Moreover my capabilities have so far been tested mostly in the “non-real” academic life and not in the “real” world. Who is to say I would be able to do well in the real world as well. What will happen in a scenario when I am not able to perform in the real world? Will the people who have praised me all this while stick around my tough days and regard me as the same person or would they change their perception of who I am?

A very reasonable question is why I care what people think about me. I have tried to answer this question and justify the fact that I should not be but there are some compelling reasons so as to honor their faith:

Firstly these are people who have had a hand in my success either small or big. So they have every right to have expectations from me and these expectations make me vulnerable

Secondly I believe that some people die with their death and others continue to live on. I don’t want to die ever. I want to do something that others would always remember me for. It might be a selfish endeavor and probably a hollow reason but some how to me it always feels important

Thirdly now that there have been so much expectation around me there are a lot of people who are ready with their knives out to slaughter me and people who believe in me for the tiniest mistake I make. If it was me alone I would have lived with it but some of the others are people whom I respect a lot and can’t see somebody throwing mud on their face.

I know this is a struggle I have to fight alone and can’t dare to loose but till when should I fight. Till what date would I have to keep on proving my self so that others don’t change their perception of me because of a single mistake. Also this is a vicious circle. The more you achieve the more people expect from you. Finally and most importantly when would that phase come when I would be supremely confident of me and my abilities? Would it ever come if I have all these thoughts? I some how doubt but then I don’t see a path away from these doubts presently!!
I believe that there is a plot for every one who comes to the world and one day this mystery would definitely be resolved as part of the bigger plan. Till that day I will continue to put in effort to solve it and hope for the best!!

Orkut: The place of good people

I have been thinking about this for a while now. Any testimonial that you see in orkut always talks about how good the person it. It never talks about the bad things person posses. According to these testimonial all the people on orkut are awesome and are amazing and brilliant ..... . But statistically speaking this is not possible. If we define amazing people to be the top 5% (or 10%) of the entire population then assuming that orkut is a fair reflection of the general population only 5 (or10%) of the entire orkut community can be really awesome or really great or brilliant. But it seems like most of the people on orkut are great etc. etc... So where does the trick lie.

I don’t have a correct answer to this but my guess is that people see what they want to see in a person. Every body on the planet has shades of black, grey etc. but if I am a friend of yours then I tend to ignore these shades and look at the white part of yours. I tend to see only the good things that you have and leave the bad part alone and hence a person who is good in the eyes of one can be a bad person in the eyes of other. (Well we see the frame of reference does matter a lot here as well and not only in physics.). But then how do you define a person to be good or bad. Hitler a person who has been declared bad by most would be admired (or may have been admired) by certain people. Doesn't it make him a good person may be in the eyes of few people only but it certainly does. This means that there are no good people or bad people so as to say but its the frame of reference that makes them good or bad.

The aim for a man should be 2 fold:
1) To be good in as many frames of references as possible
2) To make sure that in his frame of reference most of the people are good

To me its the former which is the easier part but the later which is much more difficult as the former could be achieved by deceiving others while in the later you have to deceive yourself in case you decide to be untruthful. Deceiving others is far more easily than deceiving yourself and hence the objective no.1 is easier to achieve. Hence it is difficult to find people who love everybody than those who are loved by everybody. That’s the precise reason why our ancestors used to lay stress on seeing every human being in the same light!!!

Lonely and alone

There are times when you begin to feel lonely and alone in this world. You feel that you have are at a wrong place and find your environment out of sorts. You see around and realize that did you make a mistake coming to this environment. Well right now I am feeling something similar. It all started when I attended my first L^2 party. Not that I took to the dance floor but I was there for about 45 minutes watching a lot of guys and gals get drunk and dance as if there was not tomorrow. This made me realize that I could never be like that. There I was at a place and event which by a lot of IIM B junta is the best moment of their stay and I felt out of place and positively repulsive at that place. Even if it is not the best part of most of the students stay it is a event which most attend very regulary (definitely more regularly than the classes for a few!!). It just stuck to me that my cultural values and framework is so different from most of the people who visit this place that I would never fit into the surroundings and would never be comfortable with a lot of these people in an informal setting. Most of the people were those whom I am at good terms with but dont spend a lot of time together but there were people who were close to me. People who I think are very good friends of mine but I think that these differences which have been induced in us due to a our upbringing will never go. We might compromise but then would we be comfortable with each other over a long period of time. There have been no indication of a brewing problem over the years but sometimes I get a feeling that over the years some thing might happen because of this which would have a implication of some of the freindships I cherish. May be this is the feeling you will always get if there is something that is too good to be true.

But you can't for once ignore the fact that there is a huge gap between the culture I come from and the culture I am goign to be a part of and some things inside me keep on telling me that I would not make it. I am not at adjusting to new things. I have been cout of my house for the last 10 years and yet I refuse to let go of the culture I was born in and take on the new one which I am stepping into. Would it have been better if I stayed back at home and lived a easy life without all such tensions? I don't know .. I don't think anybody does only time will tell.

Should I die with the beggar?

Sometimes when you read something it provokes your thoughts...it makes you think. I recently read a post written by one of my friends should old beggars kill themselves and I thought to my self it is an intriguing question...it is a question which I don't think I have an answer to but none the less I thought about it. I think it boils down to what you want from your life.. what is it that makes you live. What would you like to achieve in the 70-80 years that you are going to spend on this planet. I think for a beggar the sole puropse of living is to live. Is it bad to live for the sake of living ... I think not. Most of the educated people don't know and don't care as to what they want to achieve in their life. They would know what they want to achieve in from their professional life but since a beggar does not have one he can't have a professional target so as to speak. So in a way at a broad level we are no different than any of the beggars in the street. So the question to ask really is should any body who does not know what he is here for and doesn't want to know have a reason to survive.

I though further whether I know what I want to do in this world over the next 40 years. I thought may be I do but I don't think that I have a very concise and precise answer for the same. A flood of guilt and emotions took over me... I a person who has always been given good food and clothes am no different from a beggar who has always struggled for the next bit when it comes to finding the true meaning of life. Why is my life more important than his? I don't this it is and hence I don't think that he/she should die. If he decided to die I don't have a reason to live

Had fun in London but did I really enjoy it

I am back in India .... and it seems so good to be back with my friends and family. The place where are really belong. I had a great time in London but there is a difference ....I think the only thing I was missing was .. India. London is an amazing city .. it's truly one of those places where you would like to live in at least for a short period of time. But there were days when I wanted to talk to some one who was close to me. Some one who knew me well ... some one who would bear all by cribbing not because he/she has to but because he/she knows it will be helpful to be and important to me. In short I was missing some of my close friends and family. I know I have been living away from my home for the last 10 years (almost) and how can I miss them know but I think it is very easy initially and keeps getting difficult as time passes by. I missed some of my close friedns.. I missed Pabbo and A^2 and the long chats I have with them. I am afraid of this the most that once we pass out of this place I would loose them again .. we would not live in the same city .. even if we do would we have time to spend with each other and have a long chat as we have them now.... its a scary world out there with a lot of uncertainity and I am not sure I am goign to love it. On top of that there are certain other operation problems that I faced in London. Coming back from office and then cook and iron out clothers at 11 or 12 in the night is not the easiest of things to do and well its ok to do for 2 months but for a sustained period its difficult. Food is always a problem outside India if you are a veg. But all these things can be dealt with if you have some good friends whom I can talk to. I dont know whether I would have some one there. I am afraid it might not be true as most of my friends dont want to leave India. In that case I could not imagne the haste I would be in to get back to India. There are certain decisions I need to take for my profession life but certainly they are at a cost...my personal life!!! I have already made a decision ... but is it the right one...only time will tell!!

A friend in need

As a famous saying goes "A friend in need is a friend indeed". Very cliched way to start ...may be but then if you are writing something about friendship where to start. Having said that I don't think that I have never seen a correct explanation of the whole saying. The most important aspect of the saying has always been ignored. What do we mean by being "in need"? Some people will say that it is very easy .. when you are troubled or sad or things are not going your way that is the time of need... that is the time of need. So in adverse conditions and circumstances people who stand by you are your real friends. But surprise of all surprise I don't agree to this. I don't believe that you need a person when you are down. You should be hard and tough enough to face the circumstances and travel through it. If you are not then you cant guide a friend of yours through trouble if required and if you can't do that then you can't have a good friend. Moreover I believe that people who come to you when you are down mostly come to you to be visible and derive pleasure from your misery. They are happy that you are suffering and hence come to you to feel good about themselves and say "We are not as bad as this guy". Even if he is a good guy and wants to help you I would describe him as your well wisher rather than a friend. There is a difference between 2. Your parents are your well wisher but they might not be your friends.

So this again brings us to the fact that what is it that defines "being in need". I believe that people who are with you when you are happy and share the pleasure with you are the ones who are your real friends. They are happy because you are happy and this automatically suggests that you share some kind of bonding with them. Happiness does not mean anything if you are alone and hence you need somebody to share it... hence the phrase "in need". This is the real need a friend should fulfil. He/She should be an integral part of the happy moments one has had.


If you look at your happy moments I bet you would be able to see all best friends in it but this might not necessarily true for your sad/unhappy moments.

But I would go one step forward than this and say "A real friend is one who is with you ALWAYS". I think that if you have a really good friend he will always be with you as you would never be able to get him/her out of your mind/heart. He is with you irrespective of your condition. So a friend in need is a well wisher and a friend in happy moments is a friend but the true friend is one who is always with you and you cant get rid of him/her how hard you may try.

Makes sense.. may be .. may be not.. !!!

Fate: The undiscovered

I have been wondering over a long time whether fate/destiny exist i.e. whether there is a hidden force which is super natural that affects the outcomes of our efforts. I was unable to make a decision till my fourth year at IIT-JEE and then something happened and it became very clear to me that fate is a false premise to hide your failures. It is for the weak and the pansies to hide behind when they are in the firing line. I believe that people can control the outcome of any effort they put to a large extent and the small part which they cant ascertain is not due to luck or some supernatural force but due to the fact that they did not consider certain dimensions into account while make a decision or forgot to implement them. Finally when the result does not go their way they seem to say that we out in every thing but we are not LUCKY enough to succeed.

But then as fate would have it (:)) certain events unfolded yesterday. It seemed to far fetched to consider the fact that they would all happen on the same day yet the did. Was this fate? I don't know but my firm belief in non-existence of fate sure did take a huge hit.. may be it is there...may be it is the uncertainty associated with every action in life. since there is uncertainty in life we don't know the final outcome and hence we try to name it fate. I believe that probably I would never be able to come up with a final answer to this debate but I did uncover one thing in all these things.

Even if there was something called fate -- by definition you would not be able to control it and hence its irrelevant to decision making or analysis of situation. So people who try to factor it in are always worse than those who don't and hence all in all don't think about fate just do what you can to your best. As Lord Krishna has famously said: "Put in your effort and forget the rest"!! I hope I would be able to do this in my life.