As a famous saying goes "A friend in need is a friend indeed". Very cliched way to start ...may be but then if you are writing something about friendship where to start. Having said that I don't think that I have never seen a correct explanation of the whole saying. The most important aspect of the saying has always been ignored. What do we mean by being "in need"? Some people will say that it is very easy .. when you are troubled or sad or things are not going your way that is the time of need... that is the time of need. So in adverse conditions and circumstances people who stand by you are your real friends. But surprise of all surprise I don't agree to this. I don't believe that you need a person when you are down. You should be hard and tough enough to face the circumstances and travel through it. If you are not then you cant guide a friend of yours through trouble if required and if you can't do that then you can't have a good friend. Moreover I believe that people who come to you when you are down mostly come to you to be visible and derive pleasure from your misery. They are happy that you are suffering and hence come to you to feel good about themselves and say "We are not as bad as this guy". Even if he is a good guy and wants to help you I would describe him as your well wisher rather than a friend. There is a difference between 2. Your parents are your well wisher but they might not be your friends.
So this again brings us to the fact that what is it that defines "being in need". I believe that people who are with you when you are happy and share the pleasure with you are the ones who are your real friends. They are happy because you are happy and this automatically suggests that you share some kind of bonding with them. Happiness does not mean anything if you are alone and hence you need somebody to share it... hence the phrase "in need". This is the real need a friend should fulfil. He/She should be an integral part of the happy moments one has had.
If you look at your happy moments I bet you would be able to see all best friends in it but this might not necessarily true for your sad/unhappy moments.
But I would go one step forward than this and say "A real friend is one who is with you ALWAYS". I think that if you have a really good friend he will always be with you as you would never be able to get him/her out of your mind/heart. He is with you irrespective of your condition. So a friend in need is a well wisher and a friend in happy moments is a friend but the true friend is one who is always with you and you cant get rid of him/her how hard you may try.
Makes sense.. may be .. may be not.. !!!
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3 comments:
Actually every thing in your post does make sense... profound things put in very simple words...
But at times, you are made to feel that, perhaps, the way you have defined everything is flawed... perhaps, you expect a lot... perhaps, they don't understand.. or you don't...
I have always believed that friendship is the most wonderful relation on earth... unlike in other relationships, a friend is someone 'you' choose... someone like you... someone you care for and want to be cared for in the same way...
I have been lucky to have many such wonderful friends right from my childhood days... have been pampered a lot by my friends... and perhaps, that has spoilt me. Realization, though late, did come...
Anyways, wonderful post... keep blogging!
Daga truly rocks!
I'd define ``in need'' as ``whenever you want/wish'' your `friend' was there with you, by your side ... as if they magically read your mind and just be there ... to share some moments of life together ... whether those be moments of joy or otherwise ... and make those moments memorable ...
Well, I liked the different way of looking at the age old proverb. But may be, you are pretty strong mentally and so you feel you dont need someone in tough times. Not everyone is like so. To your friends who aint that strong as you are, your presence when they are feeling really low will matter much much more, I believe!
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