There are certain days when you can’t look over the obvious deficiencies you have in life. And these deficiencies are something which I have already known but have never worked on it because I have never felt that it could hurt somebody. But then as you mature you realize you need to change. So from today onwards I would like to change my self. I think I don’t have enough will power to change so putting it in black and white always helps. There are certain expect that I would like to change about myself and these are:
1) I have always been a person who has sought attention and enjoyed it. I would like to change this as I don’t think this is a healthy sign. It leads to unnecessary tension when you don’t get it and then you think of the possible reasons. So from today onwards I would like to have a low profile. I would and should try to make my presence in any group as low as possible
2) Secondly in any relationship I think I expect a little too much and I think I don’t give as much to the relationship as I should. I think keeping expectations low is a way of healthy relationships. After all an individuals interest is more important than anybody to him/her and to expect anything else is not fair. Although this is not an easy job to do but I would try to implement this.
3) I think I need to organize myself better and from today onwards I would try to maximize the utilization of my time. This is something that I did in the first term here at IIM B but then some how I lost this capability. I need to be more focused and damn it I would be.
4) I judge people very quickly and also base my judgment on other people’s judgment. Although I am open and change my judgment later but I should not draw conclusions this fast.
I seriously hope that today is the dawn of something new which makes me a better person. I think enough effort would go into making me a better person. I hope I have enough will to do it!!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I dont know what
I dont know why and what I am goign to write today but there are too many things in my head and I need to get some thoughts out and hence I am writing this. Today has been a bad day. We had 2 major losses in Spardha and it has made me feel too bad. I know it does not matter as its a small sports event but then I am very competitive and thats not a very good thing to be. Also ManU has failed to win the first 3 games of the new season and Ferrari is languishign way behind in the constructor championship. Do I need more reasons to be down?
I am missing home and I want to get there desperately. But I know that I would not be able to go home before December. There are loads of submission coming up and so are the exams. CCS submission is around the corner with a report to write.
I have been trying to sleep for the last 30 minutes but no luck. All in all currently I am in not so happy state. Hopefully this will change soon!!! Please some good news in the next few days.
I am missing home and I want to get there desperately. But I know that I would not be able to go home before December. There are loads of submission coming up and so are the exams. CCS submission is around the corner with a report to write.
I have been trying to sleep for the last 30 minutes but no luck. All in all currently I am in not so happy state. Hopefully this will change soon!!! Please some good news in the next few days.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Vicious circle
I have been a reasonably successful guy who has achieved certain things in life a lot of people would like to or aim to achieve. This is not to make a point that I have done well or not but to put things into perspective that the discussion that is going to follow is not out of frustration. It is further to stress the point that if a person who has had a normal life can have such fears and anxieties a person not so successful or a person who had an abnormal life would definitely have much more to fear about.
There are days when I find myself just thinking about am I good enough. Am I the person every body apart from me thinks I am? There are people in my family who look up to me for inspiration and there are others who think me as their role model but frankly speaking I have my doubts. What is there in me that inspire them to believe in me so much when even I am not sure of my capabilities? What if I go wrong some where? Would these people continue to have faith in me or would most of them just walk away and speak of a person who promised a lot but failed to deliver. I am scared and feel vulnerable when such thoughts take over my mind and then there are days when I can’t think of much apart from these things. I feel lost: like a small baby who is lost in the vast world and has no where to go. My mind stops working and all the thinking is done by the heart.
Moreover my capabilities have so far been tested mostly in the “non-real” academic life and not in the “real” world. Who is to say I would be able to do well in the real world as well. What will happen in a scenario when I am not able to perform in the real world? Will the people who have praised me all this while stick around my tough days and regard me as the same person or would they change their perception of who I am?
A very reasonable question is why I care what people think about me. I have tried to answer this question and justify the fact that I should not be but there are some compelling reasons so as to honor their faith:
Firstly these are people who have had a hand in my success either small or big. So they have every right to have expectations from me and these expectations make me vulnerable
Secondly I believe that some people die with their death and others continue to live on. I don’t want to die ever. I want to do something that others would always remember me for. It might be a selfish endeavor and probably a hollow reason but some how to me it always feels important
Thirdly now that there have been so much expectation around me there are a lot of people who are ready with their knives out to slaughter me and people who believe in me for the tiniest mistake I make. If it was me alone I would have lived with it but some of the others are people whom I respect a lot and can’t see somebody throwing mud on their face.
I know this is a struggle I have to fight alone and can’t dare to loose but till when should I fight. Till what date would I have to keep on proving my self so that others don’t change their perception of me because of a single mistake. Also this is a vicious circle. The more you achieve the more people expect from you. Finally and most importantly when would that phase come when I would be supremely confident of me and my abilities? Would it ever come if I have all these thoughts? I some how doubt but then I don’t see a path away from these doubts presently!!
I believe that there is a plot for every one who comes to the world and one day this mystery would definitely be resolved as part of the bigger plan. Till that day I will continue to put in effort to solve it and hope for the best!!
There are days when I find myself just thinking about am I good enough. Am I the person every body apart from me thinks I am? There are people in my family who look up to me for inspiration and there are others who think me as their role model but frankly speaking I have my doubts. What is there in me that inspire them to believe in me so much when even I am not sure of my capabilities? What if I go wrong some where? Would these people continue to have faith in me or would most of them just walk away and speak of a person who promised a lot but failed to deliver. I am scared and feel vulnerable when such thoughts take over my mind and then there are days when I can’t think of much apart from these things. I feel lost: like a small baby who is lost in the vast world and has no where to go. My mind stops working and all the thinking is done by the heart.
Moreover my capabilities have so far been tested mostly in the “non-real” academic life and not in the “real” world. Who is to say I would be able to do well in the real world as well. What will happen in a scenario when I am not able to perform in the real world? Will the people who have praised me all this while stick around my tough days and regard me as the same person or would they change their perception of who I am?
A very reasonable question is why I care what people think about me. I have tried to answer this question and justify the fact that I should not be but there are some compelling reasons so as to honor their faith:
Firstly these are people who have had a hand in my success either small or big. So they have every right to have expectations from me and these expectations make me vulnerable
Secondly I believe that some people die with their death and others continue to live on. I don’t want to die ever. I want to do something that others would always remember me for. It might be a selfish endeavor and probably a hollow reason but some how to me it always feels important
Thirdly now that there have been so much expectation around me there are a lot of people who are ready with their knives out to slaughter me and people who believe in me for the tiniest mistake I make. If it was me alone I would have lived with it but some of the others are people whom I respect a lot and can’t see somebody throwing mud on their face.
I know this is a struggle I have to fight alone and can’t dare to loose but till when should I fight. Till what date would I have to keep on proving my self so that others don’t change their perception of me because of a single mistake. Also this is a vicious circle. The more you achieve the more people expect from you. Finally and most importantly when would that phase come when I would be supremely confident of me and my abilities? Would it ever come if I have all these thoughts? I some how doubt but then I don’t see a path away from these doubts presently!!
I believe that there is a plot for every one who comes to the world and one day this mystery would definitely be resolved as part of the bigger plan. Till that day I will continue to put in effort to solve it and hope for the best!!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Orkut: The place of good people
I have been thinking about this for a while now. Any testimonial that you see in orkut always talks about how good the person it. It never talks about the bad things person posses. According to these testimonial all the people on orkut are awesome and are amazing and brilliant ..... . But statistically speaking this is not possible. If we define amazing people to be the top 5% (or 10%) of the entire population then assuming that orkut is a fair reflection of the general population only 5 (or10%) of the entire orkut community can be really awesome or really great or brilliant. But it seems like most of the people on orkut are great etc. etc... So where does the trick lie.
I don’t have a correct answer to this but my guess is that people see what they want to see in a person. Every body on the planet has shades of black, grey etc. but if I am a friend of yours then I tend to ignore these shades and look at the white part of yours. I tend to see only the good things that you have and leave the bad part alone and hence a person who is good in the eyes of one can be a bad person in the eyes of other. (Well we see the frame of reference does matter a lot here as well and not only in physics.). But then how do you define a person to be good or bad. Hitler a person who has been declared bad by most would be admired (or may have been admired) by certain people. Doesn't it make him a good person may be in the eyes of few people only but it certainly does. This means that there are no good people or bad people so as to say but its the frame of reference that makes them good or bad.
The aim for a man should be 2 fold:
1) To be good in as many frames of references as possible
2) To make sure that in his frame of reference most of the people are good
To me its the former which is the easier part but the later which is much more difficult as the former could be achieved by deceiving others while in the later you have to deceive yourself in case you decide to be untruthful. Deceiving others is far more easily than deceiving yourself and hence the objective no.1 is easier to achieve. Hence it is difficult to find people who love everybody than those who are loved by everybody. That’s the precise reason why our ancestors used to lay stress on seeing every human being in the same light!!!
I don’t have a correct answer to this but my guess is that people see what they want to see in a person. Every body on the planet has shades of black, grey etc. but if I am a friend of yours then I tend to ignore these shades and look at the white part of yours. I tend to see only the good things that you have and leave the bad part alone and hence a person who is good in the eyes of one can be a bad person in the eyes of other. (Well we see the frame of reference does matter a lot here as well and not only in physics.). But then how do you define a person to be good or bad. Hitler a person who has been declared bad by most would be admired (or may have been admired) by certain people. Doesn't it make him a good person may be in the eyes of few people only but it certainly does. This means that there are no good people or bad people so as to say but its the frame of reference that makes them good or bad.
The aim for a man should be 2 fold:
1) To be good in as many frames of references as possible
2) To make sure that in his frame of reference most of the people are good
To me its the former which is the easier part but the later which is much more difficult as the former could be achieved by deceiving others while in the later you have to deceive yourself in case you decide to be untruthful. Deceiving others is far more easily than deceiving yourself and hence the objective no.1 is easier to achieve. Hence it is difficult to find people who love everybody than those who are loved by everybody. That’s the precise reason why our ancestors used to lay stress on seeing every human being in the same light!!!
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Lonely and alone
There are times when you begin to feel lonely and alone in this world. You feel that you have are at a wrong place and find your environment out of sorts. You see around and realize that did you make a mistake coming to this environment. Well right now I am feeling something similar. It all started when I attended my first L^2 party. Not that I took to the dance floor but I was there for about 45 minutes watching a lot of guys and gals get drunk and dance as if there was not tomorrow. This made me realize that I could never be like that. There I was at a place and event which by a lot of IIM B junta is the best moment of their stay and I felt out of place and positively repulsive at that place. Even if it is not the best part of most of the students stay it is a event which most attend very regulary (definitely more regularly than the classes for a few!!). It just stuck to me that my cultural values and framework is so different from most of the people who visit this place that I would never fit into the surroundings and would never be comfortable with a lot of these people in an informal setting. Most of the people were those whom I am at good terms with but dont spend a lot of time together but there were people who were close to me. People who I think are very good friends of mine but I think that these differences which have been induced in us due to a our upbringing will never go. We might compromise but then would we be comfortable with each other over a long period of time. There have been no indication of a brewing problem over the years but sometimes I get a feeling that over the years some thing might happen because of this which would have a implication of some of the freindships I cherish. May be this is the feeling you will always get if there is something that is too good to be true.
But you can't for once ignore the fact that there is a huge gap between the culture I come from and the culture I am goign to be a part of and some things inside me keep on telling me that I would not make it. I am not at adjusting to new things. I have been cout of my house for the last 10 years and yet I refuse to let go of the culture I was born in and take on the new one which I am stepping into. Would it have been better if I stayed back at home and lived a easy life without all such tensions? I don't know .. I don't think anybody does only time will tell.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Should I die with the beggar?
Sometimes when you read something it provokes your thoughts...it makes you think. I recently read a post written by one of my friends should old beggars kill themselves and I thought to my self it is an intriguing question...it is a question which I don't think I have an answer to but none the less I thought about it. I think it boils down to what you want from your life.. what is it that makes you live. What would you like to achieve in the 70-80 years that you are going to spend on this planet. I think for a beggar the sole puropse of living is to live. Is it bad to live for the sake of living ... I think not. Most of the educated people don't know and don't care as to what they want to achieve in their life. They would know what they want to achieve in from their professional life but since a beggar does not have one he can't have a professional target so as to speak. So in a way at a broad level we are no different than any of the beggars in the street. So the question to ask really is should any body who does not know what he is here for and doesn't want to know have a reason to survive.
I though further whether I know what I want to do in this world over the next 40 years. I thought may be I do but I don't think that I have a very concise and precise answer for the same. A flood of guilt and emotions took over me... I a person who has always been given good food and clothes am no different from a beggar who has always struggled for the next bit when it comes to finding the true meaning of life. Why is my life more important than his? I don't this it is and hence I don't think that he/she should die. If he decided to die I don't have a reason to live
I though further whether I know what I want to do in this world over the next 40 years. I thought may be I do but I don't think that I have a very concise and precise answer for the same. A flood of guilt and emotions took over me... I a person who has always been given good food and clothes am no different from a beggar who has always struggled for the next bit when it comes to finding the true meaning of life. Why is my life more important than his? I don't this it is and hence I don't think that he/she should die. If he decided to die I don't have a reason to live
Sunday, June 24, 2007
The story of a lost passport
Well people tell tales of what they did right and how did they accomplish some thing. My tale is neither ...mine is a story of a lost passport.. once in a life time opportunity (hopefully) to experience the adventure and fun (many dont even experience it once.) It all started when I landed back at Delhi from London on that eventful night of 9th June. I was happy to be back and very excited that i will be meeting my family soon. I came out and booked a pre paid taxi (which was a very wise move) to Gurgaon. I landed and sure enough my aunt was waiting there for me at 12 in the night. I had a very good night talking through the night with my aunt and then took the next days train to Bikaner at 9 in the morning. My train was delayed by about an hour during the journey and I reached home at around 11 in the night. As soon as I stepped in the house I had a funny feeling that I had lost my passport. I took bath and started searching for it in my luggage but could not find it. I put the issue on hold for the morning and had an enjoyable talk with my parents and siblings deep into the night and slept at around 4. I woke up at 8 and searched for my passport but to no avail. I called up my aunt and asked her to check at Gurgaon in case I had left it their but again as I suspected no success. We were all worried at this point as it could be misued and secondly duplicate passport can be issued only after great effort. So after some delibration I booked a train ticket back for Delhi the same day. (I was at home for less than 15 hours my shortest stay ever.) I reached Delhi early morning and booked a hotel and slept for some time. I went to the airport and talked to the airport authority and the airport management but to no avail. Finally I went to the pre paid taxi stand and asked the police their to give me the number of the taxi which I had taken that they. They came up with the information after searching the register where the list of the passenger driver and taxi number goes. I talked to the taxi union about the taxi and the driver and they were able to guess that the taxi should be in the airport stand itself. I walked to the stand which was about 500 meters from the departure and asked for the driver and sure enough was able to find him there and so was the taxi. I searched the taxi and got sure enough there it was in front of me. Lying under the seat was teh passport inside the blue pouch I recognised at once. I was breathing normally again as citizen of India. But the two days are definitely unforgettable for me. It just highlighed how careless I can be and what effects it can have. It was something that could have been much worse but well I was saved by some prompt action. Lessons to take from here are be careful and be prompt action. Together they can save a lot of stress.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Had fun in London but did I really enjoy it
I am back in India .... and it seems so good to be back with my friends and family. The place where are really belong. I had a great time in London but there is a difference ....I think the only thing I was missing was .. India. London is an amazing city .. it's truly one of those places where you would like to live in at least for a short period of time. But there were days when I wanted to talk to some one who was close to me. Some one who knew me well ... some one who would bear all by cribbing not because he/she has to but because he/she knows it will be helpful to be and important to me. In short I was missing some of my close friends and family. I know I have been living away from my home for the last 10 years (almost) and how can I miss them know but I think it is very easy initially and keeps getting difficult as time passes by. I missed some of my close friedns.. I missed Pabbo and A^2 and the long chats I have with them. I am afraid of this the most that once we pass out of this place I would loose them again .. we would not live in the same city .. even if we do would we have time to spend with each other and have a long chat as we have them now.... its a scary world out there with a lot of uncertainity and I am not sure I am goign to love it. On top of that there are certain other operation problems that I faced in London. Coming back from office and then cook and iron out clothers at 11 or 12 in the night is not the easiest of things to do and well its ok to do for 2 months but for a sustained period its difficult. Food is always a problem outside India if you are a veg. But all these things can be dealt with if you have some good friends whom I can talk to. I dont know whether I would have some one there. I am afraid it might not be true as most of my friends dont want to leave India. In that case I could not imagne the haste I would be in to get back to India. There are certain decisions I need to take for my profession life but certainly they are at a cost...my personal life!!! I have already made a decision ... but is it the right one...only time will tell!!
Monday, April 02, 2007
The year gone by!
So finally at last after such a long time (and many more such adjectives) the first year is over. We (people who were brave enough to take AMDA course) are done with the final exam of term 3 as well as the final submission (we still have an RMD submission to do but what the hell). It feels great to have finally finished an year which a lot of people call is close to a snapshot from hell with out any major hiccups (ya ya I know i missed an exam due to over sleeping but is that major....naa!!!). We are out of the woods celebrating you may think..... well not so. This poor soul has to work on something known as CCS which is supposed to be part of a project in the next term which is supposed to start about 2.5 months from now... SO basically although we have finished the first year the second term has started for us without giving us even a day of vacation!!!
I had to cancel my ticket for travelling home as I had to work on RMD project as well as work on the CCS project. I think I deserved a break a break from all this studies and projects and submissions but as it stands I don't think I would get any.
So enough of bitching....the real question is what have I learnt over the last 9 months. I came into this institute after working for about 2 years where I was getting decent salary. What transformation does this place provide so that the same person who was getting a decent salary ends up paying taxes much more than others salary. I have been thinking about it a lot and have never been able to find an answer. In my case I believe academically I have done decently well here not only in terms of grades but more importantly in terms of learning. But if that would have been the deciding change then I could as well have read the books without coming to IIM and still get such humongous pay. So that should not be the case. Some would say its the profs which make your learning better and blah blah blah.. and I agree to a certain extent. If there is somebody who is exceptional but then not every body could be exceptional here as well. So that rules out this possibility as well.
They say you start working as a team... all bullshit I say. In projects most of the time not all people work at least that has been my experience. Hence its more like people willing to work will work and rest wont. That too you try and distribute the work and in the end collate the work together. So where is the group learning?
Your personality changes some say!!! I doubt that too. Your personality cant go through a huge change in 2 years or lets put it this way it is improbable. At least for most its not the case. For me .....well it has changed but to some extent. How why and all are questions that can be answered some other time.
My biggest take away from here would be the network I have developed here. I have met people who are top notch smart from all over India. Most of them would be or are in line to become future CEOs and a network like this definitely helps. But even above this I have made some (although few) really good friends. I have come in touch with people who have been able to understand me and like me for what I am. I would have come to this place and gone through the torture of the first year without even thinking twice just to know such people. I hope they think the same for me and I really hope that this friendship(s) does not end with the second year. This place would have been extremely difficult to get through had it not been for these guys ....so I would like to say "Thank you so much!!!".
Well I am out of all the reasons I have heard so far (as well as out of time as I need to go and prepare for my CCS). Well I still have an year to find out. Hopefully I will be successful in the next year and come up with an answer. Till then let me keep thinking......
I had to cancel my ticket for travelling home as I had to work on RMD project as well as work on the CCS project. I think I deserved a break a break from all this studies and projects and submissions but as it stands I don't think I would get any.
So enough of bitching....the real question is what have I learnt over the last 9 months. I came into this institute after working for about 2 years where I was getting decent salary. What transformation does this place provide so that the same person who was getting a decent salary ends up paying taxes much more than others salary. I have been thinking about it a lot and have never been able to find an answer. In my case I believe academically I have done decently well here not only in terms of grades but more importantly in terms of learning. But if that would have been the deciding change then I could as well have read the books without coming to IIM and still get such humongous pay. So that should not be the case. Some would say its the profs which make your learning better and blah blah blah.. and I agree to a certain extent. If there is somebody who is exceptional but then not every body could be exceptional here as well. So that rules out this possibility as well.
They say you start working as a team... all bullshit I say. In projects most of the time not all people work at least that has been my experience. Hence its more like people willing to work will work and rest wont. That too you try and distribute the work and in the end collate the work together. So where is the group learning?
Your personality changes some say!!! I doubt that too. Your personality cant go through a huge change in 2 years or lets put it this way it is improbable. At least for most its not the case. For me .....well it has changed but to some extent. How why and all are questions that can be answered some other time.
My biggest take away from here would be the network I have developed here. I have met people who are top notch smart from all over India. Most of them would be or are in line to become future CEOs and a network like this definitely helps. But even above this I have made some (although few) really good friends. I have come in touch with people who have been able to understand me and like me for what I am. I would have come to this place and gone through the torture of the first year without even thinking twice just to know such people. I hope they think the same for me and I really hope that this friendship(s) does not end with the second year. This place would have been extremely difficult to get through had it not been for these guys ....so I would like to say "Thank you so much!!!".
Well I am out of all the reasons I have heard so far (as well as out of time as I need to go and prepare for my CCS). Well I still have an year to find out. Hopefully I will be successful in the next year and come up with an answer. Till then let me keep thinking......
Friday, February 16, 2007
The valuable asset
Once one of my friends had joked "Life is a balance sheet. Its assets and liabilities side always match". I laughed at him and made fun of him at that time but then I was thinking about this yesterday and realized may be there might be a deep meaning to it. May be .. I might be stretching the point here but cant help it.
Liabilities loosely speaking are your responsibilities or duties. When you actually perform them they get converted into assets. For eg. take friendship. Isn't it a liability...yes it is. You have certain responsibilities towards your friends but at the same time isn't it your asset? Most definitely it is. I generally belive that the people/organization you put your effort into (basically they are your liabilities) become your streghts and your asset. Like any other asset in real life you need to spend some asset to accquire another one. So you need to spend time and effort to develop your assets and this is the price of your assets.
Taking this view does bring up a very interesting question. What is the most prized asset a person has? I believe that the most prized asset of a person should be an asset which is built into him. Which is not due to an external source. Which makes him better than others. I believe it the determination and self confidence that a person has. If you have the will to achieve success and the self belief there is nothing ... i mean nothing in this world that could ever stop you from reaching your goal. All the other qualities and drawbacks become secondary ...it might take you more time to reach than some of the more blessed soles but it certainly a "when" question and not a "whether" question.
Look at most of the famous people in the history. Edison had made some 1000 prototypes of the bulb before he succeeded. JK Rowling's Harry Potter was rejected by lot of publications. Abraham Lincoln became the president after studying under street light. Saurav ganguly never gave up after been ejected from the Indian cricket team. And these are not exceptions. The common thread among most successful people is not intelligence, not charisma, nothing but there will to fight, there will to hang on no matter what. There self belief that they will be able to come up from the mess they were in.
So I pray to god not to give me money not to give me riches or intelligence but to give me this asset. The strength to fight when the chips are down. The strength to believe in my capabilities and abilities. I pray to god that I fight!!!
Liabilities loosely speaking are your responsibilities or duties. When you actually perform them they get converted into assets. For eg. take friendship. Isn't it a liability...yes it is. You have certain responsibilities towards your friends but at the same time isn't it your asset? Most definitely it is. I generally belive that the people/organization you put your effort into (basically they are your liabilities) become your streghts and your asset. Like any other asset in real life you need to spend some asset to accquire another one. So you need to spend time and effort to develop your assets and this is the price of your assets.
Taking this view does bring up a very interesting question. What is the most prized asset a person has? I believe that the most prized asset of a person should be an asset which is built into him. Which is not due to an external source. Which makes him better than others. I believe it the determination and self confidence that a person has. If you have the will to achieve success and the self belief there is nothing ... i mean nothing in this world that could ever stop you from reaching your goal. All the other qualities and drawbacks become secondary ...it might take you more time to reach than some of the more blessed soles but it certainly a "when" question and not a "whether" question.
Look at most of the famous people in the history. Edison had made some 1000 prototypes of the bulb before he succeeded. JK Rowling's Harry Potter was rejected by lot of publications. Abraham Lincoln became the president after studying under street light. Saurav ganguly never gave up after been ejected from the Indian cricket team. And these are not exceptions. The common thread among most successful people is not intelligence, not charisma, nothing but there will to fight, there will to hang on no matter what. There self belief that they will be able to come up from the mess they were in.
So I pray to god not to give me money not to give me riches or intelligence but to give me this asset. The strength to fight when the chips are down. The strength to believe in my capabilities and abilities. I pray to god that I fight!!!
Monday, February 05, 2007
A friend in need
As a famous saying goes "A friend in need is a friend indeed". Very cliched way to start ...may be but then if you are writing something about friendship where to start. Having said that I don't think that I have never seen a correct explanation of the whole saying. The most important aspect of the saying has always been ignored. What do we mean by being "in need"? Some people will say that it is very easy .. when you are troubled or sad or things are not going your way that is the time of need... that is the time of need. So in adverse conditions and circumstances people who stand by you are your real friends. But surprise of all surprise I don't agree to this. I don't believe that you need a person when you are down. You should be hard and tough enough to face the circumstances and travel through it. If you are not then you cant guide a friend of yours through trouble if required and if you can't do that then you can't have a good friend. Moreover I believe that people who come to you when you are down mostly come to you to be visible and derive pleasure from your misery. They are happy that you are suffering and hence come to you to feel good about themselves and say "We are not as bad as this guy". Even if he is a good guy and wants to help you I would describe him as your well wisher rather than a friend. There is a difference between 2. Your parents are your well wisher but they might not be your friends.
So this again brings us to the fact that what is it that defines "being in need". I believe that people who are with you when you are happy and share the pleasure with you are the ones who are your real friends. They are happy because you are happy and this automatically suggests that you share some kind of bonding with them. Happiness does not mean anything if you are alone and hence you need somebody to share it... hence the phrase "in need". This is the real need a friend should fulfil. He/She should be an integral part of the happy moments one has had.
If you look at your happy moments I bet you would be able to see all best friends in it but this might not necessarily true for your sad/unhappy moments.
But I would go one step forward than this and say "A real friend is one who is with you ALWAYS". I think that if you have a really good friend he will always be with you as you would never be able to get him/her out of your mind/heart. He is with you irrespective of your condition. So a friend in need is a well wisher and a friend in happy moments is a friend but the true friend is one who is always with you and you cant get rid of him/her how hard you may try.
Makes sense.. may be .. may be not.. !!!
So this again brings us to the fact that what is it that defines "being in need". I believe that people who are with you when you are happy and share the pleasure with you are the ones who are your real friends. They are happy because you are happy and this automatically suggests that you share some kind of bonding with them. Happiness does not mean anything if you are alone and hence you need somebody to share it... hence the phrase "in need". This is the real need a friend should fulfil. He/She should be an integral part of the happy moments one has had.
If you look at your happy moments I bet you would be able to see all best friends in it but this might not necessarily true for your sad/unhappy moments.
But I would go one step forward than this and say "A real friend is one who is with you ALWAYS". I think that if you have a really good friend he will always be with you as you would never be able to get him/her out of your mind/heart. He is with you irrespective of your condition. So a friend in need is a well wisher and a friend in happy moments is a friend but the true friend is one who is always with you and you cant get rid of him/her how hard you may try.
Makes sense.. may be .. may be not.. !!!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Fate: The undiscovered
I have been wondering over a long time whether fate/destiny exist i.e. whether there is a hidden force which is super natural that affects the outcomes of our efforts. I was unable to make a decision till my fourth year at IIT-JEE and then something happened and it became very clear to me that fate is a false premise to hide your failures. It is for the weak and the pansies to hide behind when they are in the firing line. I believe that people can control the outcome of any effort they put to a large extent and the small part which they cant ascertain is not due to luck or some supernatural force but due to the fact that they did not consider certain dimensions into account while make a decision or forgot to implement them. Finally when the result does not go their way they seem to say that we out in every thing but we are not LUCKY enough to succeed.
But then as fate would have it (:)) certain events unfolded yesterday. It seemed to far fetched to consider the fact that they would all happen on the same day yet the did. Was this fate? I don't know but my firm belief in non-existence of fate sure did take a huge hit.. may be it is there...may be it is the uncertainty associated with every action in life. since there is uncertainty in life we don't know the final outcome and hence we try to name it fate. I believe that probably I would never be able to come up with a final answer to this debate but I did uncover one thing in all these things.
Even if there was something called fate -- by definition you would not be able to control it and hence its irrelevant to decision making or analysis of situation. So people who try to factor it in are always worse than those who don't and hence all in all don't think about fate just do what you can to your best. As Lord Krishna has famously said: "Put in your effort and forget the rest"!! I hope I would be able to do this in my life.
But then as fate would have it (:)) certain events unfolded yesterday. It seemed to far fetched to consider the fact that they would all happen on the same day yet the did. Was this fate? I don't know but my firm belief in non-existence of fate sure did take a huge hit.. may be it is there...may be it is the uncertainty associated with every action in life. since there is uncertainty in life we don't know the final outcome and hence we try to name it fate. I believe that probably I would never be able to come up with a final answer to this debate but I did uncover one thing in all these things.
Even if there was something called fate -- by definition you would not be able to control it and hence its irrelevant to decision making or analysis of situation. So people who try to factor it in are always worse than those who don't and hence all in all don't think about fate just do what you can to your best. As Lord Krishna has famously said: "Put in your effort and forget the rest"!! I hope I would be able to do this in my life.
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